I will never forget the day I asked (more like BEGGED) my mom to PLEASE put me in tumbling. I was only four years old and she wasn't really crazy about the idea. She said "I do not have the money to pay for people to teach you how to roll around. I can teach you that for free!" I walked away and worked for hours on my back handspring on her water bed.. until it broke.... Yesssssss, I BROKE IT. I then moved on to try it on the trampoline until I had it down, then went to the grass and conquered that too. So, at the age of four, I taught myself how to do a back handspring! Everyone pretty well knew at that point that this was my calling in life. From that day until now, I have never stopped (unless I was pregnant but I still did it with moderation). I LOVE IT!!
HOWEVER, I will also never forget the day not long after that when the doctor freaked out after my mom took me in for a check up. They told her there was sugar in my urine and I needed to give a blood sample ASAP and I did. But they told her that everything was fine...clearly it wasn't. I went on to grade school and was always active and started in first grade all-star cheering. I can't exactly tell you anything I learned in grade school. I was always jealous of the people who could simply listen to the teacher and actually GET what she was saying. I probably made the worst grades out of any grade-schooler around me. My brain just did not function how it was supposed to (due to being an undiagnosed Diabetic) and I hated the fact that all my teachers begged my mom to put me on all this medicine saying I needed it because I was slow. They literally had me convinced I was mentally-challenged even though my Mom knew it had to be something else. It hurt me a lot and I just wanted so bad to be able to understand in school, not feel sick all day, and be able to remember what someone said to me an hour before. I felt there was simply something wrong with me that no other student had wrong with them. I struggled daily with feeling outcast and alone and incompetent.
I went on to my sixth grade year and "HELLO HORMONES"! --Gotta love becoming a teenager. I still could not focus in class and often cheated. OK, the only way I made it through the day was by cheating. In the middle of the year, I OFFICIALLY became a teenager. My monthly cycle hit and things only got worse. I was so skinny if I stood sideways and stuck out my tongue, I looked like a zipper. My skin was so white I blended in with paper. I was so thirsty I would literally drink from the lake. I could eat 6 honey buns at a time. I once sold a picture of my older hot sister to some desperate sixth grade boy JUST to get another honey bun!! (Hope you still have that, Timothy!!)
When my sister Kaylee's 16th birthday rolled around that year, we all went out to eat at AppleBee's. They brought our drinks and I drank my Coke down before anyone had time to blink. I asked for another one and did the same. Again, I asked for another one and had it down before my food came. During the time we ate, I drank 3 more glasses of Coke. After we ate, we went shopping at the mall and I peed 7 to 8 times in the short time we were there. We went home and I immediately drank 3 cups of water then scarfed down a huge chunk of chocolate birthday cake. I noticed everyone staring at me like I was a freak, then my Mom said she was going to grab my Dad's glucometer to check me (he's a Diabetic). I said, "WHATTTTTT???? NO WAY!!!! You will not come near me with that!". So, she calmly made all her kids line up to check their sugars and they all read perfect...except for mine. It just read HIGH. I thought, "That's not bad is it?"... I mean, what did I know? But then I looked at my Mom's face and thought, "Oh wait... I'm NOT OK!". I ran to the bathroom to scream the anger and confusion out as I was peeing AGAIN! All my siblings came in after I finished to hold me and tried to console me telling me it's nothing bad and I must have just had some chocolate on my finger and I was gonna be OK. My Mom's actions spoke a whole different language. She was pale and I could tell she wanted to cry. She grabbed my hand and took me to the hospital only to find out my blood sugar was 698 and I would have to live the rest of my life taking shots to stay alive. OK....WORST DAY OF MY LIFE, AND WORST BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO MY POOR SISTER.
I was put on insulin that day and sent to a hospital for days to learn how to eat, how to take my shots, blah blah blah. When I went back to school I figured it would be the same. However, I sat in Math, listened to my teacher, got what she said, and worked out the problem without the struggle and fog in my brain... I WORKED OUT A PROBLEM, EVERYONE. It was the first time I was able to do that EVER. I was in 6th grade. I lost all those grade school years of learning. So there it was, I had to start in the life of learning from there. It was like moving to an all new country and learning a whole new language and way to learn. I didn't really get to learn how to spell properly or all that simple stuff. I was sick all through grade school and didn't even realize it.
I took care of myself for about 6 months. Then sadly my brother, who had Down's Syndrome, passed away, and I became so depressed things went back down for me physically. I wouldn't take care of myself. I didn't care to live. I was on depression medication...YOU NAME IT. I again struggled in school-- brain fog and no understanding. This lasted until I hit about sixteen when I made a big "no-no" and got pregnant with my son. The doctor told me if I didn't get things under control my baby would die and I could die too. So I grew up quickly and learned how to take care of myself not just for me, but for HIM. I was able to pay attention in class again and began the learning life all over. People often have rude things to say about how dumb they think I am and especially every time I spell a word wrong. They say things like "you really need to go back to grade school" or "how could you be so dumb". It's taking a lot for me to admit this, but I spent weeks hiding as I cried until I literally wanted to kill myself. I wondered "Why did I have to be sick all those years when I needed to learn the simple basic things in life? If you can't spell, why live right? You're just worthless." This went on until I finally opened my eyes and realized I wanted to go somewhere in life no matter obstacle I had to overcome. I realized, "Why would I cry over a stranger, letting them win?". They got just what they wanted out of me and that was to simply hurt my feelings. I don't need to be a spelling-bee champ to go somewhere in life-- although that would be AWESOME. But I am using what I have been gifted with which is being physically talented and I have a good heart. That's what I focus on now. Today writing this blog I can't believe I even cried and wanted to die over something so silly. Now I don't even get half way through a mean comment or tweet until I'm laughing and moving on with my day.
ALL THAT BEING SAID, I have OVERCOME a lot with my disease. I am happy about the strong woman I am today because of my life's obstacles and now I am HERE TO HELP YOU!!!!!!
I am excited to start this blog and help everyone--diabetics and non diabetics, moms and non-moms, old and young-- to eat right, live right, and workout until you OVERCOME as well !! I will be making lots of workout videos and nutrition videos. And will be sure to keep everyone updated with all my great plans for my fitness future with YOU!!
<3 Mackenzie #spellcheckme