Monday, April 6, 2015

How becoming a mother saved my life

            As many of you know I became a mother at a very young age. Was this my plan? No, but it happened. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything, I would have told myself to respect myself more and tell my boyfriend I'm waiting tell marriage. And that is the best advice I could give you as well. Sometimes it takes people who learned things the hard way or even the wrong way to give others the best advice. And through my life experience that would be my advice to all young girls. PLEASE RESPECT YOURSELF AND WAIT TELL MARRIAGE. It will save you a whole lot of stress, heart ache, trouble, and the way people view you. 

      At the age 11 I was diagnosed with something that forever changed my life. Type one diabetes. For the rest of my entire life I will have sick days, have to take 3-6 shots a day to even stay alive, check my blood sugar 5-8 times a day and so on. WHAT? I remember thinking that day. I have diabetes. Cool As long as Im alive.... My whole middle school years were a blur and full of a lot of sickness. I didn't care to take care of myself and it was a miracle if my sugars were under 400. 500 was my normal and I learned to live with it. I have little memory of sitting at the doctor MULTIPLE times and him telling me, "your just killing yourself". But since my sugar was 500 at the time, how was I supposed to understand what he was saying? I walked out rolling my eyes. I notice my eyes would sting a lot and I was losing my eye sight. I noticed I went from being the best in the gym to someone who was too weak to do a cartwheel. This wasn't me but my mind was functioning so improperly I couldn't stop it. I lost my brother who had downs syndrome in the eight grade and my way of handling it was to let my blood sugars go as high as possible so my mind would be too dumb to think about it. You know how that works, some people handle it by drinking, doing drugs.. It was my high. It was my new way of handling life. 

    I continued this for years and one day met this ornery, but cute man. And yes shortly after meeting we found out we were having a baby at the ages of 16 and 17. My sugars still running high I will never forget the doctors telling me at my first app. "If you continue this life your living, this baby of yours will die, and soon you will too. You will go blind, and start losing limbs, feet, legs, hands, than your life". The next room a lady doctor told me it might be ideal if I just go ahead and get an abortion. That would have been the LAST thing I would have done. The part about myself wasn't so scary but killing someone else... Like... MY OWN CHILD, was terrifying. Not only was I about to become a mom at 16, I had to completely change my way of living and watch my every move of what I stick in my mouth. Not to mention if you've ever been pregnant you know chocolate and carbs in general become a lot more appealing than they were before. It was a hard time in my life. Josh didn't know how to grow up just yet and I was working, going to high school, and cosmetology school at the same time. I would check my sugars every two hours and my last hour of school was an athletic hour so I would run a mile everyday tell five and a half months pregnant than I would power walk. This was a way to keep my sugars under control. I couldn't believe how well I could focus in life. I couldn't believe how good I felt and how I had more energy being pregnant than I did not being pregnant. I thought when your pregnant you become more tired, more non focused, more miserable.  Long story short I watched my sugars like a hawk and on September 9th had a beautiful baby boy and named him Gannon Dewayne McKee. Yes it was a high risk pregnancy and he was born almost 5 weeks early weighing 9 pounds 7 ounces. BIG BABY. but he was alive and healthy. 

        I remember nursing my baby boy one night shortly after he was born and starring down at him and instantly start bursting into tears. I had realized that all though I was only sixteen and having an unplanned baby at this age was very frowned upon, but this little boy saved me from death. How was I ever going to learn how to take care of myself and why it is so important. Yes I took very good care of myself while he was still in my belly to keep him alive, but now he is here, I am his mother, and I must take very good care of myself to stay alive for him. He truly changed and saved my life. 

      My baby Gannon is 3 years of age now and since then me and his daddy got married and had a baby girl who is now 1. I will never go back to the awful and careless way I was once living. I will always do my best to take care of myself. There are days when my hormones are changing, my body is preparing to get sick, or my blood sugars just don't wanna behave that day, but I always strive to keep a good blood sugar. Having this disease has defiantly been a rough ride,  but has made me who I am today. This is the reason I strive day in and day out to live a healthy life style and help others to.