Being on TV for just a short time and sort of being in the spot light in my small hometown was not easy. It seems that people would watch my every move and even dig real deep on my past so they could have something to hold against me. They began to forget my name and I just became that “teen mom girl”. I felt like they saw me as a robot and not a human. I would see things from someone I use to be close to, or even just the girl who sat behind me in English that we would always help each other out and although we weren’t besties for the resties, I’m not so sure if we would have graduated without one another. They would write horrible things about me, and in such confusion my feelings would be deeply hurt. I was always one to ignore what some weirdo from 12 hours away who never met me had to say, but seeing it from the friendly place I grew up at really hit me hard.
Through this time I hid, I would stay off social media, I would stay home, I was scared to go out, and I clung to my boyfriend who is now my husband. And lets be honest, at the time he was not the best boyfriend but I felt he was all I had. Then when I was alone I would lay down, review EVERYTHING someone I knew had to say about me and cry. Yes I would cry and cry and cry. I would cry to the point where I was shaking and screwing up my blood sugars. I didn’t have dreams anymore, I would pray to God to either help me out of the country or send me home to heaven. I really think I went crazy for a sec… than it hit me. Life literally poured a bucket of ice water on me and slapped me. “GET OVER IT MACKENZIE, STOP BEING A BABY AND GROW UP”. ouch… I realized that I did have dreams. I had big dreams and the ONLY thing that was stopping me was the fear of what others would think of me. What an idiot. For two years I let them stop me. I let them control me and get in my head. I sat back and smiled as I erased all the pain. They are not sitting at home hurting about what they said, only I am. Does this even make since?
I went straight to the store after bought a journal. I then jotted down my dreams, my big dreams. I wrote down everything I want to do and become. I told my husband about it nervously and to my surprise his response was “go for it”. (aw, I love him) anyways that was exact six months ago from today and since then, not a day goes by where I’m not doing something to take a stop closer in reaching my dreams. Not only are those big huge dreams beginning to come true but I can honestly say I am truly such a happy person. And being a happy person made me a stronger person, a better wife, a better mom, and a better friend. It was life changing. Sometimes people will private message me or even call me and say things like “did you see what so and so said about you” “did you read this article” or “I’m so sorry that people are saying things about you, your life must be so hard, I don’t know how you do it” and in my mind I’m thinking “should i care”? or “is it sad that your more hurt about it than i am”? I simply go on with my day and continue to love my life and chase my dreams. And you should to.
Anyways if you know me, you know I’m big into sharing my thoughts and life experiences with others in hopes of inspiring them. If you are a follower of mine on social media you know I’m doing all I can to chase my dreams and I know without a doubt, with all the hard work they will come true. If dreams were easily done then there would be no such thing as “dreams”. They are hard work for a reason and you only live once so enjoy getting there. I wanted to write this blog to inspire YOU to not be a fool like I once was. Don’t ever care what others think because I promise, you won’t go far in life. So go far, DO YOU , and reach for the stars.